The Order of the Nearly Ancient Nights of the Beaver

The Story

Mainstream religions, governments and global businesses have disgracefully conspired against the common man for centuries but the seething webs of intrigue are gradually becoming unravelled. This story is where The Hellfire Club meets The West Wing; the history is where Harry Potter confronts Opus Dei.

A new Order is being established, led by an impressive team known as WE3. Their backgrounds in banking, computer science, the intelligence community and the church have come together in an awesome thrust against corruption and manipulation. See the blogs on this site for a flavour of the targets of our wrath.

An Anglo-Saxon cooper and part-time water bailiff in England started it all by manufacturing bespoke undergarments for the invading French aristocracy; trusses that were tailor-made for leisure, pleasure or discipline. Mysteries and miracles surrounding his death spawned an extreme neo-religious following which, in the absence of American Idol, baseball, Red Bull and football, caught on big-time but was driven deep underground, only to come to light by accident during a night of revelry in the south of France in the New Millennium.

In this collection of short tales there are myths and legends concerning a missing Jesus sandal, beavers, the tobacco industry, prostitutes and assassins. There are conveniently loose fables relating to Jesuit torture, the growth of the U.S. economy in the 17th century and perverted rituals that'll chill the most hardened of religious hearts.

However, the outcome is set to be uplifting. The dark, arcane secrets of our common history spin full circle to reveal a future of hope, fine food and wine, sunshine and lovely French bottoms. By the autumn of 2007 most of the sour gloom and grubby veils of secrecy will have been lifted and a series of joyous celebrations held, culminating it’s hoped in a huge party in Nice in the south of France in several of our order’s TEMPLES (or a Pizza Hut).

WE3, that’s to say ANTIBELL - our spiritual and physical leader - and his two principle disciples The Dark Albino and The Celtic Warlord welcome you into the movement. There are few barriers to joining so long as you’re fairly rich, reasonably good looking, not too fat (space in our Temples is limited because they’re popular and the chairs are small) and you are gregarious. If you’ve had to look up what gregarious means you’re unlikely to be of suitable intellectual calibre, but this can be overcome with cash and a spate of grovelling.

READ ON and navigate your way through a bleak history of mankind's conspiracy against itself. Go to The Conspiracy and The Beginning or read the blog entries first to get a feel for what we're about.