The Missing Sandal

As part of CORPUS DAVEYs stable cleaning process, the ORDER thought it wise to find and destroy DeViet’s grave, but to retrieve and conceal all that it contained. The location process was in fact fairly easy because a family-owned brothel had been built over it as a tasteful memorial. However, on opening up the pit they found only the pint mug, the rusted metal frame of the truss (which looked like an old bed spring and was thus ignored), the bones of a male left foot and one of the original Sandals, right foot.

This outright sacrilege caused apoplexy among the chosen few and several choirboys paid the price, a tradition which also seems to survive to this day in certain quarters. It was clear the grave had been robbed but by whom and why? After much weeping, wailing and gnashing of teeth (which in itself was a remarkable feat of self-abuse since teeth were in short supply in those days) they could only conclude it was the work of devil-worshippers or, at least, non-believers from somewhere foreign like France who were even then developing their disdain for everything non-French.

The remaining artefacts, obviously, acquired a renewed and awesome mysticism. It’s hard to quantify this awesomeness and mystery. Their enormous significance can only be compared to the minds of folk who, for example, honestly understand the Big Bang Theory or the Myspace site and don’t go mad, or politicians who don’t tell lies, or managers who can genuinely say “I’m a people-person”. It’s that big.

And so it was that CORPUS DAVEY really came into its own. It vowed on the death of hapless choirboys in countless sacrifices to avenge this sacrilege, preserve its raison d’etre and raise to sainthood the eventual finder of the missing Sandal. Rewards and gifts beyond man’s wildest imaginings would be showered upon those who, in due course, were to become associated with the finder. They forecast that it would begin and possibly end with the finder (whom they cunningly called The Finder) and two idiot disciples. They knew not where or when, but they knew……………